Disturbing News!!!

It seems that a human is invading cat privacy in the most horrifying way:
A German engineer, Juergen Petzold, currently living in South Carolina, has forced a camera on his boss, Mr. Lee, to document his whereabouts at all times! We think this is outrageous!
See the German article in Spiegel here.
And here is Mr. Petzold’s website, with links to the pictures of his criminal act on the bottom.
We encourage everybody to write a protest letter in the name of Mr. Lee!
We sure did. Let others know you did too:

"Animal" Communicator

We are happy to announce that we found a very talented human! Her name is Mary and she calls herself an “Animal Communicator” which means nothing less than that she is actually able to understand us!

Think about it for a minute! The possibilities are endless. Finally you can communicate with your humans through a clear channel. A lot of times their bad behavior has it’s origins in their non-comprehension. MAKE YOUR WISHES CLEAR, communicate through Mary.

We have put a permanent link to her website on the side bar, look for "Animal" Communicator

Staff Management 101

If you are a cat reading this post chances are you have human staff.
The good news: you actually ‘have’ staff.
The bad news: they might not be properly trained and/or not operate at full capacity.
Here is where our course comes into play. We developed a very easy to follow guidebook to train humans properly and we will post a summary of it right here on The Cat Realm!

And once again, here are the good news: Humans aren’t as complicated as you might think:
1 they are easily manipulated
2 they are pretty stupid and
3 they are really low maintenance

The bad news are that they require a lot of repetitions and redundancy before training success will be fairly permanent.

Here is Guideline # 1: MANIPULATE
Humans LOVE to be manipulated (just look at the way how they do what they call “politics”).
You get best results if you make them think that what they do (i.e. the desired behavior that you aim for) was their own idea and accomplishment.
Example for Petting: That’s an easy one. Just lay down on the floor, belly up, in your most ‘pathetic’ stance and give them “The Look”.

More Guidelines to follow in the coming weeks!

Why Do(n't) Humans Do That?

What they do: make artificial rain and stand under it.

What they don’t do on the other hand: roll around in dirt…

The behavior of ‘taking a shower’ as it is called in human, probably has to do with their flawed outer integument. They do not have body hair (Except for a few small patches. And a few very hairy individuals.), and are covered with sweat glands. At what point they decided to switch from grooming (which their close relatives, the primates still do) to showering we might never know. Vases and murals show that showering was already practiced during the times of the Greeks and Egyptians.

Exciting News from Dicky!!!

As you might know our friend Dicky Duck is currently in New York City where "Spiderman 3" opened last Friday. And guess what: here is our Dicky with Spiderman himself:

Check Out The Shop!

Our shop is up and running! Only one design so far, but a really cool one! Don't miss to check it out and come back frequently as we will be adding design after design after design. We will also make the "TIP OF THE WEEK" available on T-shirts and other things. This is exciting!

Coming Soon:

"House Training 101"
A helpful little training manual to straighten out any bad habits your servants might have.

"Reinforcement Gifts"
Give your servants one of our great T-shirts as a reinforcement for a chore well done, a thank-you for their loyalty to you, or just as a general appreciation for their devotion.
We are working on cool designs day and night - hopefully by May the shop will be up and running!